Todd Crandell’s Diary Blog » 2009

Archive for July, 2009

Enlightenment

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Hello from Ultraman Canada,

Totally beautiful here and I am grateful to once again experiencing the good life that comes from non drug use. I have a 2 time Ultraman finisher here on my crew by the name of Darwin Holt. He drove 15 hours from Edmonton and also financially contributed to the house we are staying in. I am thankful for this but more importantly, he is providing a sense of calmness to my mind that many of you know I desperately need. My mind is constantly racing and I simply need to find that “Off Switch” and from the conversations I have had with D the

past 2 days have helped me gain that. This event is not a “race” to me but rather an experience. It is unlike Ironman or anything else I have ever done for that matter. When I did Ultraman Hawaii, I went through amazing things, physically, spiritually and emotionally and that is what I am pursuing here again along with a sense of calmness. I have proven I can do the distance so it is not about that for me but rather enjoying the distance and that is something completely different.

The film crew arrives today and things will not kick into high gear. Please check out www.runningwithdemons.com or be a friend of Running with Demons on Facebook where we will have live updates throughout the event.

I am actually sitting here alone and doing nothing and I LIKE IT. So here are a few pictures and I am done with the blog. Thanks to everyone who is supporting me personally, professionally and Racing for Recovery. I KNOW in my heart and soul I would not be where I am without you all and God.

To Melissa and the kids. Thanks again for allowing me to

do what I do. I know you all do not completely understand it all but please know there is a purpose to everything that I do and it is with the best of intentions.

TC

Posted in Ultraman | 1 Comment »

Dear God

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Dear God,

I just want to say Thank You for the amazing life you have provided to me. I thank you for giving and maintaining my drug free life as that is what everything I have is based on. I thank you for maintaining my marriage as it has been a struggle at times mostly due to the lifestyle I lead. I can’t imagine being a wife and having the “normal” and then having that get turned completely upside down must be hard to handle at times. Don’t think for a minute that I do not understand what I have done to our family financially and emotionally and that I do not appreciate what you as my wife have done to maintain the homefront. I thank you for the 4 healthy, intelligent, beautiful and loving kids that remind me of what life is all about on a daily basis. I thank you for the education and credentials I have as I utilize them to aid others achieve their potential. I thank you for the physical abilities you have given me as they have enabled me to do extroidenary things all are geared to not only personal gains but carrying a message of HOPE to the world. Last but not least, I thank you for Racing for Recovery and all the goodness this program has brought to thousands of lives. I know this is my purpose and it is humbling to be the Founder and Executive Director of such a worthy organization.

I am tired physically now and have one more major physical test of endurance with Ultraman Canada on Aug 1,2 and 3. I have nothing to prove at this point to anyone including myself about what I can accomplish on a physical level so that is not the purpose of this adventure. I am doing this because there is an opportunity to capture not only this event but the personal struggles I face and the benefits Racing for Recovery has had on other lives. That is the purpose of me doing this event.

I have done all I can financially, physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually to get Racing for Recovery to where it is today. I also want to say this program would not be where it is without the assistance and support of many people and you all know who you are. Having said that, I am giving this whole thing up and putting it in your hands because I simply do not know what else to do. I do not view this as a bad thing but rather a very positive action of understanding my faith in what you have in store for me in the years ahead. I am tired of going going going to achieve more more more and simply want to enjoy the process and the ride of it all.

What I ask from you is Peace of Mind along the way and simply have my mind slow down a little bit.

Thanks for your time and now I will enjoy my day.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Mason July 14

Monday, July 13th, 2009

Happy B day to my boy Mason who turns 4 on July 14. I will be home later today (yes it is July 14 here in Switzerland) to see your smiling face.

Daddy loves you buddy.

To everyone else who has supported me during the past 2 weeks thank you.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Persevere

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

I just want to say that anything I want to achieve in life I WILL. That includes finishing an ironman, being a good family person, finding answers to personal questions I have, education, Racing for Recovery etc. The bottom line is never underestimate me in anything I am striving for. That is a broad subject guys read it as you wish.

Ironman number 19 tomorrow.

Hope all is well and thanks for supporting Racing for Recovery

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Ironman Germany completed

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Hello from Switzerland where I am finally getting normal again emotionally and somewhat physically from Ironman Germany. I met some amazing people there and that to me is what this stuff is about. Mike, Patricia and Scott you guys are awesome and I appreciated your support. The gift of sobriety has enabled me to do amazing things and I take that to heart and live it to the fullest.

I also want to thank my wife Melissa who is at home with our 4 great kids being a solo mom while I am out doing this stuff. I bet it is hard and I do appreciate what she does and do not take it for granted. I miss being home and after a race like the Ironman alot of emotiions come pouring out. Yes it is a blast to be here but also lonely as hell at times but in the end it is a “part” of what I do.

To everyone else and you know who you are who sent me emails of kind words you have no idea how much I appreciate and need that. I think of what you say all day long and believe me it gets me through.

Ok enough for now I am beat and want to sleep.