I simply want to start this post by saying THANK YOU to all of you who have been so supportive to me these past few days.  The emails,phone calls, voice mails and text messages have helped me tremendously.

At the end of this post is an extremely important message to benefit a Racing for Recovery supporter by the name of John Gleeson.  Please take the time to read this and if you can help it is greatly appreciated.

I have done some things that have helped me lately and need to keep doing those as that is what helps me get and stay healthy.  Here is a little something to ponder here.  How do you keep a single crab in a bucket without a lid on it?  You add more crabs.  Think about that for a moment.  Ever watch a crab trying to get out of the bucket, all of the other crabs pull the one who is trying to get out down.  This is how negativity works.  If you surround yourself with drugs or an unhealthy lifestyle in some capacity you are going to get negative results.  However there is another option and that is to stay on the path of healthy living which includes not deliberately putting yourself into negative situations.

Since poker is such a huge thing now (why it is on ESPN I have no idea lol) here is another little thing to think about.  If you win 3 straight hands at poker then loose 16 do you stay in the game.  You can say to yourself “I know I lost the last 16 but I won the first 3 I know I can win again”  Does this sound familiar with regards to going back to the same situation or doing the same things and expecting different results?  That is the definition of insanity.  So the bottom line is are you a bad poker player for staying in the game or a good one for leaving after you realize you are not going to win?

Here is how I am now living my life and it is a banking analogy.  Everything we do is either a deposit or a withdraw in our daily living.  For example, when I wake up spend time with my kids, eat healthy, exercise, get some spiritual guidance, associate with positive people and educate myself in some capacity I am making deposits.  On the other hand, if I argue, yell, let other people dictate how I feel emotionally, not exercise and eat poorly I am withdrawing from my overall health.  I am choosing to only make deposits.

I did not create all of the sayings above they were given to me as advice by awesome people to help me help myself and I (like I always do) share information with others and hope that it helps in some capacity.

6 more days until I leave for Ultraman which is going to bring peace, tranquility, support and a ton of physical pain, all of which I am looking forward to.

I realize I can’t control other people or situations as they are going to do what they want regardless of what I say or how I feel but what I do have complete control of is how I respond.  This is not always easy but I am doing my best.

I want to say to my beautiful kids Skylar, Konor, Madison and Mason, I love you with all my heart and I promise to be the best dad I possibly can to you.  I will not be perfect and I know I will make mistakes (God knows that) but I will always be here for you.  Even if I am across the world, know you are all in my heart.  Skylar thanks for telling me about the David Cook song “The Time of My Life” it is not Motley Crue or AC-DC but it is a great song and very applicable to what is currently going on with your dad.

I am closing with this pic that was taken right before Ironman South Africa.  I do not have to say anything as the picture does it for me.

Enjoy your weekend and I will post again in Hawaii.

Todd

A Benefit for John Gleeson

November 29, 2008

As many of you may already know, John Gleeson was in a tragic accident on September 21^st.  During his training for Ironman Florida, John was struck by a car while cycling. John sustained massive injuries including: Broken legs, Ribs, Sternum, both Hips and Neck. Accompanying his broken bones John also had severe internal injuries including a Punctured Lung and a Pulverized Spleen.

While in Stony Brook Hospital recovering from his injuries and awaiting a second hip surgery, John suffered a stroke paralyzing his left side, which has complicated his recovery.

On Saturday November 29^th Johnʼs friends & family will be holding a benefit in Johnʼs honor. Please come out to support John, his wife Ashley, young daughter Sydney and baby due in February, as we can all help with Johnʼs recovery. The benefit will be held at Johnny McGoryʼs pub on Front Street in Massapequa (located on the north side of the Massapequa Park train station), November 29^, 2008 1-5pm. All proceeds will directly benefit John & his family. There will be a $10.00 cover charge, complimentary food and drink specials.  Individual donations are welcomed.  There will also be several prizes raffled off ranging from Gift Certificates to local retailers, Gym membership, Tickets to games, Spa Treatments & and A Night on the Town in Manhattan as well as many others. 

As I write this I have 9 more days until I have to leave my dear kids for 20 days to do the Ultraman in Hawaii and the Ironman in Australia.  I am excited to bring Eddie Freas with me and watch him complete his first Ironman after viewing Racing for Recovery on ESPN in July 2007.

I have also taken some personal steps to get over the drama in my personal life.  I sought help for myself today and boy oh boy do you realize how messed up your mind and heart get when you do not take care of yourself. I was told today “Todd I have watched you give and give and give of yourself for the past 7 years and you have done nothing to take care of yourself”  That hit me like a ton of bricks.  I can hear some well one person saying while rolling their eyes “you travel the world what is your problem”.  It has nothing to do with triathlons.

 I know I have said and done things that are not good and have harmed others and I take full responsibility for that.  What I will no longer tolerate is being responsible for other peoples actions.  I have survived one hell of lot through a 13 year drug and alcohol addiction (self inflected of course because of my choice to use drugs) just like many of you have and I did not get sober, educated, start a family and a program to be treated without respect, encouragement, support, compassion and overall understanding.  It has been heart wrenching to not receive that from the people who you would think would be there without question.  I will no longer except unacceptable behavior.  

If any nay sayers are reading this and you are thinking about leaving a negative comment, do not bother just go away.  That means go away from me personally and professionally.  You all are a cancer that I do not need in my life anymore.  

I am choosing to associate with those who know the real me and appreciate what I and this program has to offer to others.

I want to say thank you to Jay Crawford from ESPN’s First Take as they are going to have myself and Eddie on the week of Thanksgiving (not sure on date will post soon) to discuss how Racing for Recovery has helped Eddie and his participation in the Ironman Western Australia with me.  Yeeee Haaa this is what I am talking about.

Peace to you and peace to me as well.

Todd

I just received my letter confirming I have passed my exam and now hold the title of Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor III (LCDC) in the state of Ohio.  

“with sobriety anything is possible”

Todd

Happy Halloween everyone.  I did pretty good and only ate some milk duds lol.  I had my four kids and a couple neighbors kids and we hit the streets.  Made a stop at my dads and just wrapped things up a bit ago.  I love doing stuff like this with my kids as this is what it is all about.

Also congrats to the Racing for Recovery Achievement Award winners pictured below.  From left to right Melissa Hall, Stefanie Stout, Aaron Dalley and Rebecca Weghorst.  Not pictured is Chris Everett.  I love giving these awards out yearly who exemplify what our program is all about and are improving their lives.

To my friend Shannon who lost her mom on this date years ago, I hope you find peace today.

To Eric who we lost this past February.  We miss you dearly and this pic of you below shows you at your best.  

TC

Just got home after the completion of the 7th (yes I said 7th) Annual Racing for Recovery 5k, 10k run/walk.  This was the first year I did not do the actual event but rather watched as a spectator and I must say I was truly in awe of how emotional and inspiring this event actually is.  It never ceases to amaze me the impact this program has on many lives and I am so thankful to just be a part of it.

Thank you to all of the participants, volunteers, sponsors, media and 3D Racing who made this event happen.  I can’t thank you all enough and because of you all we are making a difference in the lives of many.  Congrats to all of the participants who completed the event.  I personally do not care about the time of your finish but rather simply that you finished.  

The results can be found on the calendar page under r4r events.  Also from the homepage there is a link on the scrolling marquee.

I also want to say how proud I am of my kids Madison, Skylar and Konor for participating in the event.  I love you guys with all my heart and I know you are benefitting from this program and all the people involved in it.  Great job to Melissa who finished 2nd overall (women) in the 5k and first i her age group.  

I could not help think of Eric Floyd throughout the day and Brent VanDerPol who were lost to addiction this year.  I just prayed that those who are left behind are coping to the best of their abilities with the losses of these 2 great individuals.

To my friends who did the SOMA Half Ironman in Airzona today, nice work and I hope to do it next year.

Pictures will be available on www.carrpix.com and results will be on our site and www.3disciplines.com

Thanks to Barb Nye and everyone else who helped with the store and inventory.  That is greatly appreciated.

I am exhausted and need sleep.

TC

The Crandell family just returned from San Francisco where my brother Jason was married over the weekend.  It is times like this that I am reminded of what sobriety has given me and that is a family.  At the rehearsal dinner people were spontaneously getting up and saying things to the bride and groom and I had no intention of doing so but that I just thought “hey I have some things I want my brother to know” so I stood up and basically said how much I respected and admired Jason for the choices he has made which has resulted in a great productive life.  We have never had an argument in our entire lives and I am proud of that.  I am thankful that he did not write me off during my addiction but rather saw what I had become and said to himself he did not want that way of life and hence is a normal, adjusted drug free individual.  He is also highly respected in the yoga world and it is awesome to meet people and have them say “what an inspiration he is to them.

I also throughly enjoyed spending time with my parents.  The laughter and sense of humor that is constantly in action with this family is awesome and I laughed my butt off the entire weekend.  The kids were involved in the wedding and did a great job as well.  The only thing wrong was how big my suit was as I pulled it out from the closet and my past as a drug rep and it was a couple sizes too big.  Skylar said “dad that suit is huge on you and you are too skinny”  That was a compliment lol.

Ok I am home for a solid month before I leave for Ultraman which will be nice.  The Racing for Recovery 7th Annual 5k is next weekend and I am doing all I can to promote this worthy event.  Take notice Sylvania, utilize this program it saves lives.

To my friend Jodi who went to see her dad who is dying from chirosis of the liver and has not been involved in her life in years, I hope everything works out for you.  I am also proud of you for making this trip as I know how hard it must be.

Congrats to my friend RJ who ran the Chicago Marathon in honor of the people living in our lifestyle center.

On a lighter note I am going to see AC DC with my mom on Nov 5.  She took me to see them for my first concert on Nov 15, 1981.  Funny how the drugs did not hinder my ability to remember useless information lol.

Below is a song by Alter Bridge that I think it simply awesome and totally relates in my opinion to addiction.  I view this song as when someone just simply can’t help someone else stop using and they are forced to make a choice to save their own sanity.  I am reflecting on how many people are dealing with these feelings everyday and it breaks my heart. To those who are still using pay attention to these lyrics as the people you care about the most get to a point where they can’t take watching you destroy your life and they leave for their peace.  

Leaves are on the ground
Fall has come
Blue skies turning grey
Like my love

I tried to carry you
And make you whole
But it was never enough
I must go

[Chorus:]
Who is gonna save you
When I’m gone?
And who’ll watch over you
When I’m gone?

You say you care for me
But hide it well
How can you love someone
And not yourself?

[Chorus]

And when I’m gone
Who will break your fall?
Who will you blame?

I can’t go on
And let you lose it all
It’s more than I can take
Who’ll ease your pain?
Ease your pain

[Chorus:]
And Love is gonna save you
When I’m gone.
And I’ll watch over you.
And I will give you strength
When you’re not strong.
Who’ll watch over you,
When I’ve gone away?

Snow is on the ground
Winters come
You long to hear my voice
But I’m long gone

Take care everyone and help save someone who has a drug and alcohol problem.

TC

Just returned home from another trip to Arizona and as usual Racing for Recovery was well received.  We kicked off our new Racing for Recovery support group meetings last night with the additional meeting starting tomorrow.  Check our website for meeting details.  Thanks to Darrin P for getting this going.

I also did the Tour de Scottsdale 70 mile bike race and I must say this was interesting.  I have never done “just a bike race” as I am always running and swimming in there as well.  I felt like a fish out of water because this type of riding is very different than the usual triahtlon.  There were over 1,000 riders and they all ride in “packs” which is pretty scary.  

The course was beautiful and I rode with my friends Darrin and Clay (both members of r4r).  I want to also say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to Shannon and Dave for all the work they did in having me at this event including the book signings and support of Racing for Recovery.  So nice to see people and a community totally embrace what we do here.

Also went to the Phoenix Coyotes last pre-season hockey game.  My friend Darrin works for the Coyote Center Sports Complex so we had seats in a suite and I was fortunate enough to do a radio interview to promote the meetings.

Friday our whole family is off to San Francisco for my brother Jason’s wedding.  Back to the airport.  When the baggage loaders and ticket agents recognize you, that is a sign you are traveling alot but no complaints here.

Enjoy your week.

Todd

Here is a message from Steve Vallendar who is our race director for the Racing for Recovery 5k in Las Vegas.  I want to thank Steve for all of the work he does to make this event happen which you can see supports local programs.

I want to say thank you to Jeff and Kim King along with the entire New York Life staff for their countless support again this year.  The proceeds from their 3rd Annual golf outting to benefit Racing for Recovery was presented to me today and I am again truly humbled and appreciative of this gesture.  This group of people “gets” what I and Racing for Recovery do and we will once again utilize those funds to put on our 7th Annual Racing for Recovery 5k, 10k Oct 26.

I also want to say thank you to Sharon Lange and the Sylvania Advantage staff for their support over the years as well.  They allow us to utilize their office for 3 of our local support group meetings.  The impact this has on our members is awesome and could not be done with their help.  Thanks guys.

Our 2nd Annual Racing for Recovery 5k is tomorrow and I just want to say thanks to Steve Vallendar and everyone who helped make this event possible.

To all of you who support this program in your own way, THANK YOU.  

Enjoy  the weekend.

Todd

Just back from a speaking gig in Arizona for the Art of Recovery Expo.  God it was so nice to be in a place where people appreciate what I and Racing for Recovery do.  I absolutely loved this event and want to thank Barbara Brown for having me.  Barbara is the organizer of the Art of Recovery Expo and I must say she did an outstanding job.  She worked with me for a year on my participation and was nothing but professional and courteous throughout.  Traveling is rough sometimes with planes, cars and hotels but Barbara made this trip incredibly easy.

Also thanks to my friends Shannon, Clay, Susan, Laura and Darrin for their support.  Susan, Darrin and I (all sober) went for a run Saturday morning and saw many homeless individuals out as it was 6 am and we were in the park.  I could not help but think  of how I was once in that situation and I really wanted to stop and talk to the guys and simply say “there is a better way to live”.

I will be back there in 2 weeks and we are working on a Racing for Recovery support group meeting in addition to other r4r business.

Ok, I am bit jet lagged and need to relax a bit.

Todd